Emos Are Fucking Retarded.

You've all been waiting for it, this one article is probably going to start more shit than anyother i've ever made. This article is probably going to make them even more emo and they'll probably cut even more. Then proceede to violently attact me with the poetry they think is "deep and meaningfull". Anyway here it is, the article on Emos, enjoy!

One clique that i've had a LONG history with is the Emos (Not to be confused with the Emu, the second largest bird in the world. Emus deserve good treatment while the Emos don't.). The history can be tracked back to the 6th grade where I began with attempting to become an Emo. This continued through all the of the 6th and part of the early 7th grade. Luckily my parents did a good enough job raising me that they made sure I didn't go over to the Emo side. During the 7th I realized I could never be an Emo, so I gave it up. I began to look at this clique of losers for what they really are, pathetic wastes of life. My days of full-time Emo bashing were ones of glory. I was constantly laughing, life was great, and I got much more respect from my friends. It pains me to say it but i'm attracted to Emo girls, not the fact that they're Emo but who they look if done correctly. I guess it would be more Scene girls than anything but i'm not going to get in to my choice of women. I was stripped of my rights to make fun of Emo girls temporarily when I met a girl who dressed Emo. Parents and friends informed because of that I was revoked of the right. But since this article has had such a high demand of creation i'm allowed to make fun of them again.

Emos should be considerd blind for the reason they can't seem to see how messed up the rest of the world is. They do nothing but cry and complain about how hurt they are and how messed up the life they live is. I'm sorry that the middle class life you live isn't good enough, is mom taking your computer torturous? Here, you can trade places with the people who find Blood Diamonds. Sound good? Maybe we'll have you trade places with a kid dying a slow painful death from cancer? That'd be easier than what your endure everyday, right? These kids have no idea of what a bad life is. They seem to think everyone should know, every post they make on the internet is something close to this "Why do I keep living? Everything is falling apart, nothing is worth it. I'm hated by those closest to me, why must I destroy everything that comes in my path?:(". Great, can you tell us all the physical abuse you go through? Which parent or who is doing it? We don't care about the emotional abuse, your all lying about that one. The cuts on your wrist don't count either, self-inflected injury is on the grounds for actual beatings. That middle class life is so hard isn't it? I wish my parents could get me anything I asked for when I want it within reason.

Emos are also amongst the laziest of people. They seem to lose all self motivation once the illusion of "my life is so fucking terrible" sets in. The most physical activity these dumbasses want to have is moving a razor blade across their wrist or writing the massive ammounts of shit poetry that "comes from the heart". Great people of America should give them more exercise by chasing them down for a good old fashion beatdown. This way if you don't catch them, they got exercise! If you do catch them, give them a beating they won't forget. And after your done inform them if they say your name or help aid in the capture of you, they'll get it one hundred times worse the next time! Plus they get to walk to the hospital for treatment, more exercise! If they get beat enough and get enough exercise they'll realize this Emo shit just doesn't cut it. The work place is a fast paced thing not a slow thing that caters to the Emos. Emos are also pre-disposed to failure in the workplace.

All people want equal treatment, this is understandable. But the Emos want everyone to "understand them for who they are and what they go through.", this would be Un-Equal treatment. Your selfish to want people to "understand you for who you are and what you go through". I wish people would understand me for what I am and everything I go through. But i'm completely fine with people just realizing i'm human and giving me basic respect. Emos also want to damn much, much more than a normal person. The economy is fucked, how can you want more anything. More money, more razor blades, more notebooks, more eyeliner, and etc. Are you going to be able to keep this lifestyle up once you get out of highschool? Most of you will grow out of this fad, luckily. But for the unlucky ones who keep this shit up, go to hell.

Emos also DESERVE all the harrasment they receive from people. If your going to cut yourself over stupid bullshit and cry all the time you deserve it. Would I expect someone to not harrass me? Hell no, i'd deserve every bit of it. It might push me to seek help. I loved seeing the face on the Emo fags i've messed with in my days, the shear anger they get on their faces when you shoot an insult at them faster than the speed of light. Nothing can match the satisfaction one gets from really giving them a reason to hate life. If Emos would get the dicks out of they're asses they'd probably lighten up a little bit. But when you are always walking around funny from pants being too tight your bound to hate life. I'd love to see a National Harrass Emos Day. Just America gathers together regardless of race, color, or creed and proceedes to really give every Emo a hard day. Just like Martin Luther had a dream, so do I. My dream is that the people of the world join together and exterminate the Emo vermin of the earth.

Emos are also a plague to the internet. I can't tell you how many forums have been clutter'd with users like "xXxToRnxLiFexXx". These users often clutter perfectly fine forums and message boards with useless Emo bullshit. If I could get a Nickel for every Emo post on the internet i'd be a trillionaire, no joke. I don't want to go into detail of the Emo faggotry on the internet, instead I will make a guide on how to spot an Emo.

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Emo Identification Guide V1
By: Nick Wilson

Intro: Emo Identification is a very important thing when out in the real world. Knowing how to properly spot one could be the difference between a good day and a lulz filled day. When you think you have spotted an Emo please refer to this guide to make sure. But once you do, make sure they get the message that Emos aren't an accepted part of society. Without further ado, here we go.

1.Is the hair long?
2.Is it a dark color?
3.Are clothes mostly black or color very similar?
4.Depressed look?
5.Could a beating help alter the mind any?
6.Are you confused about the gender?
7.Could you grab it by ears and fit fingers through ear lobe?
8.Do it's "friends" look similar?
9.Could you snap it over your knees like a twig, but know that you'd have a peircing going through your knee cap if you do?
10.Cuts on the wrist?
11.To much eyeliner?
12.To many pierceings?
13.Shitty Emo band tee-shirt?
If they match a few of these, you have an Emo on your hand. Strike quick before it get's away! Make sure you burn all GothTopic's I mean HotTopic's near by, this will make sure to give you a few kills. Curbstomps are an appropriate messure in dealing with an Emo, here's a list of appropriate things to do in an Emo encounter.

1.Curbstomp
2.Emergency Haircut
3.Good Ole' Fashion Beating
4.Public Stoning
5.Torture
6.Kidnapping
7.Turning them into your local AEA chapter
8.Informing the parents of said Emo fag how much they failed. Report the child to the CSS, there's still valuable time to reverse this terrible plague.
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Eradicating all Emos from the Earth is a dream that can be acheived. You just have to get up and do something about it. Go out and find your local HotTopic, torch the fucker. South Park was so right in telling people to do that. Also, harrass Emos, give them a reason to bitch. Eradicate the Emos, Eradicate the Emos! I need to get off and practice guitar, I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it. So until next time, this is Nick and I hope your offended!