Not Giving A Fuck (This article isn't meant to be confused with Jonlajoie's "Not Giving a Fuck" video.).

The concept of not giving a fuck a simple but effective one. You simply do not give a fuck. This means not caring about yourself or the world around you. It's a great one to use on a day to day basis. Like I myself use it everyday, take school for example. I simply do not give a fuck about school, therefore I do not try at school or give the slightest care. Most people perceive me as a cold, heartless, unmoralistic, and un-sympathetic human being. I shield my emotions behind a forcefield of not giving a fuck. This is a great way to live, well if you don't give a fuck it is.

 I take pride in not giving a fuck. It allows me to do other things in which I do not give a fuck about. Yes, not giving a fuck has costed me friends, opportunities, and what not but I do not give a fuck. At certain points it is acceptable to give a fuck about something with a situation such as this listed below.

1. The tv get's shut off.
2. Your bitch gets a little cocky and needs showed her place.
3. The pizza man is 30 seconds late.
4. You get cut off while driving.
5. Your favorite team doesn't win.
6. The new videogame everyone wants comes out.
7. Your wife/girlfriend is cheating on you. (This one is optional as you might as well hand down your used toy, she's probably wore out from all the fun you had with her anyway. Time to find a new toy.)
8. Your wife/girlfriend gets the cajónes to turn soap operas on. (You have a real problem on your hand with this one. The way you best solve this one is with a headbutt to the ovaries.)
9. Jehovas witness comes knocking at your door disturbing the peace. (Make short work of them. 12 GA. Buckshot should make them quite pleased as they are holy people. Get it, holy since 12 GA. Buckshot rounds will make them that quite litterally.)
10. Dinner isn't made on time.

Those were 10 situations in which giving a fuck is acceptable, now here is 10 situations that aren't acceptable to give a fuck.

1. Wife/girlfriend's cat dies and she is upset. (Remember men that the only good cat is a dead cat. Just make sure to hide the fact that it died because you tied it to the ceiling fan, put it in the dryer on high heat, and gave it electric shock therapy.)
2. Wife/girlfriend complains about not having any clothes. (She has clothes, she's just not content with the perfectly fine ones she has. In that case give her something to cry about.)
3. Wife/girlfriend is yelling at you oversomething fucking stupid like not getting something done around the house.
4. While reading The Alphabet Of Manliness someone screams out for help, ignore them as your main priority is to read that book.
5. Children in foreign countries pleading for help.
6. An Abortion commercial is on the tv. (Can people just shut the fuck up on this issue already, god damn. It's the parents choice if the parasite lives.)
7. Your house being broken into. (To be honest most of the shit in your house isn't worth taking except for The Alphabet Of Manliness. If they take that then prepare to murder them and they're family.)
8. If you go to Church, whatever is happening in the Church.
9. Being intoxicated and taking a joy ride. (We all know that the best drivers can drive while intoxicated, give it a try!)
10. Your wife/girlfriend is having your kid. (Maybe you should be giving a fuck in this situation as your wife/girlfriend just popped out the end of your life.)

 As you can see these are prime examples of situations you should and should not give a fuck about. If you truly want to live life to the optimal not giving a fuckness follow the instructions on situations listed above and apply them to other situations, the results can be exponential. Do I give a fuck about this article, yes and no. Yes as in the fact that I hope this will get a reaction out of you. Good or bad, I don't give a fuck. No, as in this took me 30 minutes to write and I won't be seeing this 5 years down the road. So apply my tactics to life and most importantly, DO NOT GIVE A FUCK.

*disclaimer- I don't encourage drunk driving, spousal abuse, or abuse of the opposite gender of any sort. What's written in this article is meant to be taken lightly and in satire. If this offends you I don't give a fuck.